I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.
Joan Rivers
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My definition of success is to live your life in a way that causes you to feel a ton of pleasure and very little pain - and because of your lifestyle, have the people around you feel a lot more pleasure than they do pain. -
Let us beware of saying that death is the opposite of life. The living being is only a species of the dead, and a very rare species. -
I'm not claiming divinity. I've never claimed purity of soul. I've never claimed to have the answers to life. I only put out songs and answer questions as honestly as I can... But I still believe in peace, love and understanding. -
Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead. -
What is important in life is life, and not the result of life.
More quotes by Joan Rivers
- The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
- My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
- I think I'm in a business where you have to look good, and it's totally youth-oriented.
- Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.
- The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.