Woody Allen

Discover the 10 best quotes by Woody Allen. Make your own poster too.

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If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

Woody Allen
funny

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

Woody Allen
funny

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

Woody Allen
god

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

Woody Allen
god

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

Woody Allen
god

To you I'm an atheist to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

Woody Allen
god

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

Woody Allen
god

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Woody Allen
good

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

Woody Allen
good

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

Woody Allen
good

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