I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
Steven Wright
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Our country was thereby saved from the consequences of its distracting individualistic conception of democracy, and its merely legal conception of nationality. It was because the followers of Jackson and Douglas did fight for it, that the Union was preserved. -
Driving at high speed where safe and legal is part of my life. As well as a higher top speed I wanted even better stability in my FX and that meant work on the aerodynamics. -
There are obviously legal restrictions on what you can do on TV in the States, as there are everywhere. -
I propose that the government should get out of the business of marrying people and, instead, only give legal status to civil unions. -
In the Brown decision, the United States Supreme Court unanimously struck down the legal and moral footing of racially segregated public education in this country.
More quotes by Steven Wright
- How young can you die of old age?
- I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
- For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
- I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
- I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.